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Disquietude, Discontinuity… Durability
Posted by musingincolor
I needed… something.
I felt as if I had been through a lot lately. Nothing traumatic… but definitely emotionally draining when all stacked together. Stress from work and school were building, some personal stuff was swirling around a bit too much for my taste, and I felt a little disconnected from Deviant. I had traveled from one side of the country to the other and back again, and generally found myself busier than usual. I felt pulled, pushed, pressed, and scattered. It had a profound impact on my balance or, rather, lack thereof.
I hadn’t had as much download time with him as I had gotten used to, and it had been even longer since a subspace-inducing play session. I wasn’t complaining (though I am sure there were times I may have brushed against that line - cringe), because no matter what the situation or environment when I spend time with Deviant, we connect well and we get what we need from that moment; no one does it like Deviant.
Because I did feel like I needed something, something heavy, and I needed it from him, I asked for it.
Posted in Session Journal
Tags: Deviant, BDSM, submission, rope, steel bar, suction cups, spanking, bare hand, masochist, pain, nose hook, mouth hook, predicament, gagging, throat fucking, choke, floggers, subspace, balance, disconnect, connection, emotional
Interrogation is, ahem, "sew" much fun!
Posted by musingincolor
The leadup to that Friday night was… interesting… to say the least.
I was told that I would be forever changed and that I was ready for some next-level BDSM play. I was assured that when the night was over, I would experience new things and be ready for more elite play. I interpreted elite to mean not only the intensity of the play but the players themselves.
On more than one occasion, Deviant offered and then declined to tell me what I was facing. In part because I know that he, too, was excited, but in part – I have zero doubt – to fuck with my head. He’s good at that, if you haven’t noticed, and had me wondering, pondering, even fantasizing about what I would go through during our session.
I arrived a few minutes early. After greetings and hugs I spent some time chatting with his wife before he joined us in the kitchen. We continued talking for a short while longer and then it was time for us to begin. I made my way up to the play room and lit the candles. There was music already playing… but not in the play room. I found that a bit strange – we usually play music from an iPod docked in the room with us – but it wasn’t totally foreign. Aside from the initial consideration, I didn’t give it another thought until I saw the iPod on the bondage table.
Sensory deprivation was on the menu. I didn’t need any more confirmation than that.
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Posted in Session Journal
Tags: BDSM, canes, Deviant, floggers, gas mask, hitachi, instensity, interrogation, mind fuck, needles, next level, piercing, scissors, sensory deprivation, straitjacket, submission, sutures, whips
Musings of a Misstep, a Mindfuck and a Moral (Part II, the session)
Posted by musingincolor
I was early. The grey weather persisted and subsequent influx of bad drivers to the Las Vegas valley had me worried about traffic and road safety. I left my house about 30 minutes earlier than normal and still arrived only 15 minutes early. His wife greeted me at the door and after chatting for a few minutes offered me a drink and said that Deviant requested I wait for him in the play room. I declined the beverage and headed upstairs.
Already waiting on the dresser were the requisite blue and orange plastic cups with ice water. I also noticed a switch on the floor, the Hitachi, and a few other items out of place. I lit the candles and put the toys away, then sat on the stool by the dressers. I waited, hands folded, listening to the shower down the hall and looking around the room. I always feel so cocooned there, so shielded, so protected. Odd? Maybe, considering I was there to be dominated physically and mentally, consensually injured. But I also know I am safe.
This session was not planned as much as it was… needed. My head was in a fog, I was a bit jumbled, and I was letting things bother me that did not deserve that kind of time. In truth, it was a mess of small things mostly, but between the mindfuck, the heartbreaking community service, some confusing inner monologues and a little inherent holiday sadness, it was all precariously unbalanced in my head and in my heart… I just needed some perspective, a little ego stroke, and a reminder that I was amazing, I could handle it all and then some, and I could take whatever it was that was thrown at me…. with a smile and maybe some glitter.
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Posted in Session Journal
Tags: bare hand, BDSM, boots, breakthrough, canes, connection, deep bruising, Deviant, emotional, fetal position, floggers, hitachi, humiliation, kicking, kink, masochist, mind fuck, misstep, mistake, orgasm, pain, panties, perfume, perspective, piercings, punching, punishment, pussy, relationships, spanking, specificity, submission, training, trampling, whore
A Few of My Favorite (Kinky) Things
Posted by musingincolor
I was tweeting with a friend and said I would rewrite this song and send it to her… Enjoy!
Ball gags and cock gags and whip marks on asses,
Bright steel handcuffs and leather straight jackets,
Willing boys’ packages caged in CBT,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Pink colored bite marks and clothespins on nipples,
Face masks and zipped hoods and hard wooden paddles,
Beautiful girls pierced with bright needle wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Boys in lace panties with blue satin sashes
Face-slapping, foot worship, tears on eyelashes
Bondage rope, floggers, and canes, whips and chains,
These are a few of my favorite things
When a heel breaks
When my nails chip
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad
[Repeat all verses]
Posted in Creative Bits
Tags: ball gags, BDSM, CBT, creativity, face masks, floggers, kink, music, paddles, panties, parody, rope, sound of music, twitter
